Step 1: Begin bedtime ritual.

Step B: Go slowly more insane the longer child retains consciousness.

Step Gamma: Child delicately perched on the border between sleep and waking, desperately avoid making any sort of noise or doing anything perceptibly fun; insanity deepens, darkens, grows tentacles.

Step 666: Child snoring loudly, emerge from madness like a chrysalis. Note time — Precisely 11pm.